The office a few doors down from me was broken into last night. Again. In fact, I think it’s only by the grace of God that I haven’t also been victimized. Many of the units in our office park have been hit multiple times in the past six months. Now, why does this mean California sucks?

I imagine, though I can’t know for sure at this point, if I were in another state like oh, Texas or Arizona, the following scenario would end differently: Working alone at night in my office complex at 1:00AM, a large diameter pipe is thrust through my all-glass front door. Three or four guys swarm in looking for whatever they can take when they rush into my office and see me sitting at my desk. Anywhere else I could probably be justified in sending a couple of .357 magnum rounds in their direction. I could be pushing it, but in Texas, I might even be able to get away with sending a couple of them to the hospital with mortal gunshot wounds. And then there’s California.

True or not, I don’t think California has a clearly defined “rule” for what constitutes self defense and what can be done. If I pulled my .357 would I be guilty of brandishing a firearm? If I shot in their direction (which I must say is kind of pointless–if you’re going to shoot, shoot to kill), am I guilty of attempted murder? If I were unfortunate enough to actually kill one (the ideal being all), in addition to being sued civilly for violating their civil rights, would I also be charged with murder?

Would I have to wait until they re-purposed the pipe from a door-buster to a head-buster to defend myself? Would my after “regular” business hour presence be considered a threat to the intruders? After all, they waited until they could naturally assume the unit would be vacant before they broke in. Could a lawyer argue that I enticed the poor victims into my office and laid in wait for them to break in so I could extract some sort of vigilante justice? I don’t know. And because I don’t know, California sucks.