I catch flak all the time for rambling blog posts. Buckle-up, Buttercup, this might be one of them.

I had a long conversation with someone recently about their desires. Nothing carnal, mind you, but emotional, spiritual and physical desires. For those playing along with the home version of the game, our reference today will be the Bible, John 6. That’s in the New Testament for those of you new to the game.

Jesus asks a man a very important question. What afflicted the man is unclear. Some versions say he was ill. Others say he was infirm or crippled or lame. So the condition of the man is less important than the question Jesus asks. Different people have different translations or versions of the Bible. I own eleven myself, not including the online versions available. That said, let’s review the question:
> American Standard Version and Revised Version: “Wouldest thou be made whole?”
> Bible in Basic English: “Is it your desire to get well?”
> English Standard Version: “Do you want to be healed?”
> Holman Christian Standard Bible and the International Standard Version: “Do you want to get well?”
> King James Version: “Wilt thou be made whole?”
> New Living Translation: “Would you like to get well?”

On its face it seems like a no-brainer. If I am sick or lame or whatever, do I want to be healed? Of course! What kind of question is that? But therein lies the rub: what kind of question IS it?

What is “getting well” or “being healed?” if you had lung cancer you would want to be well, right? What if, heaven forbid, that meant you had to quit smoking? Is it worth it? “Of course, dumb ass! I have cancer!” But we all know the risks of smoking well before it becomes cancerous. Do you really want to be well? Yes, but when it’s convenient for you. You won’t stop smoking today because {insert lame-ass reason here}. But I don’t want to pick on smokers alone.

How about the soda drinkers in the house? Are you willing to do what it takes to give that up? Do you want to be well? Meat eaters? Tostada gnoshers? Butter guzzlers? Do you want to be healed? Does it sound ridiculous yet? The question is not as simple as it sounds.

What if you were experiencing a crisis of faith. What if everything you thought was true had been shaken. One day you woke up and realized the voice in your head had been lying to you. In an attempt to sort out what you now think must be the new normal you scream into the night to silence the cacaphony of voices in your head telling you what to do. Each voice comes from a trusted source but not one of the voices does anything but either reinforce the lie you once believed or offers you another lie to replace it.

But then one voice softly asks, “Do you want to be healed?” Finally! Through prayer and reflection and an understanding of Christ’s character, you recognize the question as the very same that Jesus asked that man. “Do you want to be healed?” Do you?

What if healing, true healing, required you to step away from every voice telling you lies? What if in exchange for healing, wellness and emotional stability you had to lose a friend? That friend with whom you shared good times but now find yourself in a rage every day because they ever-so-sweetly remind you of all your past failures. Could you give them up?

Could you step away from a job from which you derived no satisfaction but paid very well? That job, that voice in your head, reminding you of your failed commitments, sub-par performance and disappointments; could you–would you give it up for true healing?

Healing is much more than waiting for a cut to scab over. Emotional healing, recovering from a lifetime of cuts and battering, can take years. When I answered that quiet voice in my head if I desired to be well, I started what has been the best journey of my life. Step one was culling my “friend” list.

When I was going through a very difficult period in my life a few years ago only three or four people with whom I had regular contact actually supported me. These people would laugh with me, cry with me, pray with me or some combination of these three things. If I asked them to listen and not comment, that’s exactly what they did. I very much valued their counsel but sometimes you just want to vent.

Now I have a new set of friends that know me, accept me and love me for who I am. If they judge me it is a comparison of my experiences with theirs for discussion, not holding up my past against an unrealistic ideal they can’t even match but which they use to harangue me and call me hypocrite or failure.

I broke old habits I had which kept me in a rut. Desiring to be healed and working through the process are different. I was in Tae Kwon Do for a number of years. It was full-contact (with pads) but it was serious business. The two things my instructor used to say that I took to heart are these:
Everyone wants to be Bruce Lee but no one wants to put forth the effort;
If you do not practice punching (or kicking or blocking) at full speed and with all your strength all you have done is go through the motions. When you take a blow and fall to the floor you need to get back up. If that was the best your opponent had to offer you were prepared for what might follow; the shock was gone.

Because of my arrogance and unwillingness to yield (tap out), my children more than once had to help me out of my car when I returned home but his lesson was valid. When my depression or anxiety would knock me to the floor, I knew it would not get worse. I did not need to fear that the next bout of misery would be worse; the worst had already tried to put me down. It didn’t succeed so it had lost its element of surprise. I could practice the process of emotional healing and get stronger every day.

But I went through this because I answered yes to the question, “Do you desire to be well?” True, deep healing takes time. You need to make time for the process. I truly and earnest hope my friend desires healing. Speaking from experience, the end result far exceeds the temporary pain you will have.